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    September 21

    回归与离开



    Return.
    Depart.
     
    这两个词本来不是一对,但是他们纠结在了一起,因为同一个地方——家。
    伴随着日益改善的公交系统,终于在手机小屏幕上把Sons and Lovers看完。结尾不知道是应该长舒一口气,还是陷入新的茫然中去。
    不写情欲的劳伦斯把母子之间的关系也刻画得张力十足。
    一个青春和梦想逝去的母亲,被迫将传宗接代作为己任,但她的生命也从此转移到儿子身上。然而她对儿子的过多关注,却导致儿子对家庭的过分依赖。当儿子保罗成年后,他无法自主去追求恋爱和生活,一直在反叛(独立)和顺从的痛苦漩涡中挣扎。
    给我印象最深的是,保罗每次从女友那里深夜返家时,路上总是有千头万绪纠缠在脑海中。当他推开家门时,一定是痛苦而无措的。
    这据说是劳伦斯的自传体小说。
    我想,太多人都和劳伦斯一样,在家庭期望和自我理想之间寻找平衡。那个在夜里赶路的年轻人,就是我们。
     
    矛盾就在于,总是一次又一次地想回去,又一次又一次地想离开。
    当保罗拒绝了女友结婚的请求,走向灯火辉煌的城市时,他是否是在寻找新的家,新的回归的终点,与离开的起点?

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